Keeping it Real: Surgery Style

NOTE: This post contains some hideous photos of me and some kind of graphic info. Proceed at your own risk.

I had surgery on December 15 to treat some female dysfunction and pelvic pain issues. I had my last meal or sip of water at 11:30 the night before. I reported at 1:15, signed my life and our next several pay checks away, and was taken back to begin the pre-op fun. My pre-op nurse was nice (I love a nice nurse ya'll... a nurse can make or break any medical encounter but after having three surgeries and having a mix of several great (and one-two horrible) nurses, I can tell you that good pre-op/scrub/post-op nurses have a special place in my heart!)

Anyway, I peed in a cup, changed into my glamorous gown and booties then shyly paraded in front of the other surgery center patients on my way back to my bed. The last two times I had surgery, it seems like there was more waiting. This time, things went very fast up until the actual surgery. I answered tons of questions, got my iv, and had a nice chat with the anesthesiologist, nurse anesthetist, and my doctor.

Like I said, I've had surgery before (including this same-ish surgery) and each time I've dealt with lots of nausea. The anesthesiologist was great. He sat down and visited with me about this patch I could wear and a special cocktail of drugs he'd give me to ward it off. He said he'd yet to have one person feel sick after this regimen and I assured him I'd try not to break his track record (which I didn't... amazing!) if he could assure me he wouldn't let me wake up mid-

surgery. I love to crack jokes with the doctors and nurses. haha! =) He told me that if I did wake up, the surgery would be free (doubt it... but tempting...) and that he likes to be paid so I didn't have anything to worry about. =)

I told the pre-op nurse that I was treating this surgery like a spa day. =) Warm bed. Slippers. A nice long nap. Cocktails. Being waited on hand and foot. Sounds like a dream, no?

When my doctor came in - it took me a minute to recognize her. We'd only met once plus she had her surgical cap on. It's not that I didn't like her when we had our first appt., it's just that she seemed way nicer this time around. She was just as nice as could be and explained what she'd be doing, what to expect afterwards, etc... she also told me she tries her darndest to keep organs (ovaries, tubes, etc...) if at all possible. This will be funnier (in a dark way) later in the story. =)

The doctor seemed a little concerned by my high heart rate prior to surgery but chalked it up to nerves. I tried to convince her that I wasn’t all that nervous... cool. as. a. double dip ice cream cone. =) She didn’t buy it.

After our chat, I hugged Dac and my mom, and was wisked away slowly rolled to the operating room. It was cold and buzzing with activity. (Side note: it was not as cold and sterile feeling as the time I had knee surgery in the hospital... apparently the surgery centers are a little more relaxed?) It was mostly women in there. They all introduced themselves and we had a couple laughs. I told them how the last time I had this surgery I don’t remember even being wheeled out of the pre-op room let alone being in the operating room. They said this time I hadn’t had any kind of drug put into my iv yet and that I’d probably remember all of it (which I clearly do). The best part was when the nurse anesthetist leaned over and with big eyes asked if I was ready for a margarita. Ha! I said “That sounds amazing, how did you know!?” =) Shortly after, I was sound asleep.

I remember waking up with the oxygen mask on my face and in TONS of pain (but at least the intubation tube wasn’t still in like it was when I woke up from knee surgery... that was awful). I remember bits and pieces from here on out but it’s all a little fuzzy because I was in and out of sleep, a total druggy high on life, and plus I hadn't had an ounce of food or drink in like 20+ hours (anyone who knows me knows I get parched and like out of control cranky/out of it if I go more than like an hour without food.)

Mom and Dac were in there and so were two nurses... they were buzzing around me earning their pay. I was one of only two patients left at this point so I was practically the spa guest of honor. haha. Both of them were super nice and treated me like royalty but one of them was particularly hilarious. Or maybe it was the drugs. Either way - loved her. She took the mask off my face and when I told her I was hurting super bad I was informed that I would probably be in a lot more pain than last time because my doctor removed lots of endometriosis, scar tissue, cysts/tumors, and... wait... what’s that? Oh yes, my appendix. I thought to myself “go figure... so much for keeping all my organs in tact!”. Oh well... it’s just an appendix. She then told me to sleep. I, of course, was super worried about the time. I knew last time I had surgery my recovery time was pretty lengthy. Poor Dac had to stay up there with me and miss lunch and practically dinner because I just couldn’t quite get it together. Though I didn’t feel sick this time, (HOORAY!) I was very sleepy and loaded with Demerol. They told me my 45-minute surgery had turned into a three-hour one and to not worry about the time. "Sleep" they said. "Sleep cures a lot of things." So I did.

When I woke up the second time, the nurses were pressing on my stomach. Apparently my heart rate was off-the-charts high which had them concerned for a number of reasons but particularly because that can be a sign of internal bleeding. YIKES! (Note to funny nurse: don’t tell this to a half-drugged post surgical patient. Thanks. I worried about this for days - checking my belly every 30 seconds to make sure it wasn't too hard or warm.) Then she called me tachy (but clarified that she was referring to tachycardia and not ugly sweater tacky). ha! After lots of examining she determined that I was just fine and that because I had a high heart rate both before and after surgery - that probably meant that it’s just how I roll. Well hall-lay-loo-yer. Good to know.

Finally... hours later... I decided I could probably pee. (HELLO gorgeous swollen goddess! That spa day did you wonders!)

*Graphic Content Ahead* That was a trip. When I finally got up, I noticed some blood and blue dye on the bed. I asked her if that was normal - she said yes and covered it up. Makes me wonder! =) We struggled into the bathroom and of course, I couldn’t go. The sweet older nurse (not old, just older than the funny nurse) explained that they had removed lots of endo from my bladder so it might be hard/painful to pee for a while. The funny nurse laughed and said I

probably just didn’t want an audience so she turned on the sink and they left. That didn’t help. They came back in with a cup of sprite and told me to blow bubbles into it... that the pressure might help. Just when you think you’ve heard it all. That didn’t work either - although it did do a pretty good job of making me feel like a total moron. FINALLY... I peed. YAY! That meant I could go home! And it was only 9! =)

I was awesome and dressed myself before sprinting out the door The nurses dressed me, we joked about my granny panties and the fact that I brought fresh undies just in case, they removed my iv, and then I was wheeled out to the car for a pretty long and uncomfortable car ride.

We had a bit of a scare when we got home. Not long after we'd been there I went to the bathroom and noticed I was YELLOW. Not like bright and happy yellow... like death by liver failure yellow. Dac called the emergency line and the doctor on call said that as long as I didn't get worse and as long as my eyes stayed white... I was fine. By morning I was already looking better less yellow so we knew I was in the clear. I could even sit up (for like 5 minutes).

I spent the next few days eating crackers, sipping on Sierra Mist, downing pain pills and stool softeners, and lying around on the couch watching Grey's Anatomy. It was a sad and pitiful existence. BUT - my pug - whom I love - was worried about me. He followed me everywhere (to the bathroom and back) and was by my side the whole time. See?

Dac had to go back to work the next day so my mom and dad took shifts. I also had some visitors, got lots of texts/messages/phone calls, a couple plants (one from work and one from my grandma and grandpa) and some chicken-n-noodles and mashed potatoes from Terese. Everyone took such good care of me and I'm so fortunate to have so many people who love me and who I count on to be there in the not-so-pretty hours. See photos above. =)

I'm still huge and bloated, still in pain, and still needing elastic waist pants and the occasional pain pill. I still have stitches in my three incisions. Surgery was way more extensive than any of us thought. I still don't know all the details yet and I don't go back for my post-op appt. until January 5. It's driving me nuts that I don't know specifics of the surgery, or my biopsy results, or what's next but I believe everything will work out just fine.

Thanks so much for your prayers and concern! I'm well on my way to feeling better. =)

Back At It/Randoms

• Well, well, well - no shocker here - I'm behind on blogging.
• Right now I feel a little like Peety looks in this picture from his stay at Pug Camp (Dac's parent's house) over Christmas.

• Seriously though, is he not the cutest?! Love him and miss him!

• I had my surgery. It was a little more extensive than any of us previously thought it would be. I'm still sore and sportin' a huge, bloaty/swelly stomach but I'm oh so thankful things went well and that I'm on the mend. I'll share more about this soon.

• A couple days before surgery Dac, Val, Steve, Cori, Charli and I took a road trip to SUMO's in Wichita for a fun night of face stuffing. Good times!

• We've had several Christmas get-together's now and spent the actual Christmas holiday in Louisiana visiting family. We got back yesterday afternoon before heading to Call Christmas. I'm pooped. Dac's pooped. Peety's still at pug camp until this afternoon and I imagine he's pooped too. We had a great time though and I have lots and lots of pictures to post in the coming days (maybe weeks).

• I found out that Steve and Cori are having TWINS!!!! Shut up!!! I KNOW! =) I just love it!! Couldn't be happier or more excited for this family. EEEK! I also love to think of all the fun things Charli will teach her siblings. ha!

• I think it's also safe to mention now that Kayla and Mark are expecting a little brother or sister for Journey too!!! =) SUPER happy for them as well!!! So many babies!! =) Thank goodness I have an un-ending supply of excitement and cuddles to give them. Can't wait!

• My toenails need painted in a baaaaaad way.

• I tried (and liked) Dr. Pepper Ten for the first time this past weekend.

• I also tried Sangria for the first time too at my Boo's Christmas Eve partay. Liked it too! =)

• We have almost-ish got ourselves caught up on photos... only to have two back-to-back wedding weekends coming up.

• The good news is the weddings are all for friends so they should be extra good times! =)

• We have friends coming in tomorrow. I know we're both super excited to see everyone and hang out. It's not nearly often enough but it's always fun times when we get the band back together. ha!

• Today is my first full day back to work since surgery. It's also my first day sans sweat pants (not going fabulously I might add) and my first day to drive. Baby steps.

• I can't believe it's been almost a year since I started this wee little blog. I need to get all the end-of-the-year craziness recorded so I can order my first blog book! =)

• We made out like a couple of Christmas bandits this year. It's seriously ridiculous how much we have and how good people are to us. I feel super blessed to have a savior, an amazing family, fantastic friends, a belly ache from all the holiday food I scarfed... the list goes on and on. Full hearts.

• Like I said - much more interesting and picture-full posts coming soon. Hope you all had as merry a'Christmas as we did.

Censored

Warning: the following post isn't the MOST family friendly. Proceed with caution. =)

My friend Heather is getting married on New Years Eve. Her last days as a single girl! Her sister threw her a fun a bachelorette party. Theme: Penis. (Hey, you were warned!) There was penis' everywhere!

PS - I uploaded these backwards so we're going in reverse order. Sorry, but I'm too lazy to go back and fix it.

The majority of the party was at Kayla's house and like I said, everywhere you looked there was male anatomy staring you in the face. There were streamers, a pinata, pin the hose on the fireman, penis tablecloth, plates, and napkins, penis cupcakes, balloons, straws, Heather wore a special crown, and she even had a special glass with a light up you-know-what in it. Ha! =)

Here's Heather opening a few gifts.

I'm still on antibiotics so this was my beverage for the night.

We played old school truth or dare and Heather had to give someone at the party a lap dance... Watch out Daniel, this girl's got moves!

The guest of honor being fabulous as usual.

The snack and beverage table.

Before heading to Kayla's house we all met at Chili's. Here's Heather and her Cosmo.

More gifts.

A couple of Heather's friends from school (she's getting her masters in social work) were able to come!

Heather's sisters Katy and Brittany. Love these girls (and Heather's entire family!) PS - I still can't believe Katy's even old enough to be going to a bachelorette party... in my mind I still think of her as 10. Even though she's way cooler than that.

Heather and I.

Tabitha being silly and Kayla.

Tabitha being more like Tabitha. =)

There's many other pictures that I could post... but won't. =D I wouldn't do that to ya Heather! The party was way fun. Brittany did a great job planning it and I can't wait for the big day!!!

Midweek Randoms

• Life is a crazy mess right now. A good (for the most part) mess, but a mess none-the-less. =)

• I'll pick up where we left off last time. Last Wednesday was Charli's 4-year pictures. Holy smokes how did this child get to be 4? Time is a'flyin'. I'm pretty much attached for good at this point. =) So don't go moving far away, k Cori? That night Heather and Kayla came over for Criminal Minds. I fixed Frito chili pie and cinnamon roll cake. Pretty tasty - but I forgot to get pictures. I found the cinnamon roll cake recipe on pinterest. Gee I love that site. The cake was good and I'm sure it'll become a chili night staple. =) It'd been a while since I really got to see/hang out with those girls so it was fun.

• Thursday was a bit of a bad day. Or at least it started out that way. I finally went to the doctor about this ongoing crud and turns out - it was a sinus infection. I don't know why I waited so long to go in. I get 1-2 each year and I should have known that's what it was. Anyway, I was sent on my way with an antibiotic and some nasal spray. I had a meeting that afternoon and suddenly, right during the middle of the meeting, I felt so sick to my stomach. I don't know if it was the antibiotic kicking in or something else but I just walked out and went home. Thankfully, I started feeling better after just an hour or two (weird). When I got home, I got a call from a not so super happy client which broke my heart and had me in tears by the end of the phone call. I was devastated but I think we can make the client at least somewhat happier and I'm feeling a little better about it now.

• That night, Val, Cori, and Steve came over. Cori made delicious chicken and scratch noodles and a tasty rainbow layer cake with marshmallow frosting. Shut the front door. Yum. It was fun catching up. We love these friends! After we ate we mostly just watched dumb youtube videos. ha! Party animals.

• Friday night was our work party. Every year we girls at the office have a secret santa week and a little reveal party at someone's house. They're always fun and I'm glad to work with people that get along and care about each other. I'm not saying it's always drama-free but it's pretty close. =) This year we opted to not do secret santa and just play dirty santa instead. We went out to Traci's, ate chicken and noodles and potato soup (yum!). We played a game where you had to guess who's baby picture was who (WAY harder than I thought i'd be although I got lucky and tied for first place!), and then opened presents. Everybody must have liked what they got though because nobody stole anything. =)

• Saturday morning we got up early and went to Wichita for a lifestyle family session for a photographer friend who just had a baby girl. =) Oh my, she's sweet. We had a great time getting to know Jennifer and her husband better and it was a lot of fun to do a less posed shoot. I'll, of course, share the pictures over on the photo blog later.

• I ate a chocolate chip cookie which I managed to melt to my butt and the seat of the car. Fail. Still haven't cleaned it up yet. Double Fail.

• After pictures, Dac and I hit up Kohls and Target for some more Christmas gifts (still not done yet but SO much closer), ate some Spangles and headed back home so I could get ready for Heather's bachelorette party. I felt super rushed but the party was fun and I'll share pictures on here soon. =) Look out!

• Sunday, I got up and went to church. I know. Gasp! Dac stayed home to help David with some stuff but I went and we had Amanda's wedding shower afterwards. We had lots of donuts, cider, and hot chocolate and she got lots of goodies so I call it a success. =) Her wedding is coming right up and I can't wait.

• After the shower, Val, Terese, Cori, Charli and I went to eat at La Fiesta. THEN, we helped Cori get everything ready for Charli's awesome superhero birthday party! THEN, we went to the party. =) Super cute! I'll share pictures of that soon too.

• Since then it's just been work - edit photos - clean house - laundry - work - second verse same and the first.

• OOH - important news here... we got our carpets cleaned today!!! =D AND Peety went to the pug spa for a bath and a good nail trimmin'. =)

• In other news, I'm scheduled for surgery Thursday. Not looking forward to that but hoping it'll make life (and all the pain) a little more bearable. Any prayers and/or warm, fuzzy thoughts would be much appreciated! =)

• I don't like that you have to take off nail polish for surgery. Boo. What will I do with bare toes? Of all the times when you want cute, freshly painted toes and they go and pull that on ya. Thankfully I have some new fuzzy slippers to hide them in. ha!

• Speaking of frivolous hygiene - I got some new lotion. It's this kind. It's a little more scented than what I normally go for but it's not overpowering and it softens my rough man arms so I'll deal. =)

Midweek Randoms

• I like to talk trash as much as the next guy but at the end of the day, I know this is what's it's all about.

• Is it just me, or is the OSU band looking a little smaller these days?

• I don't like that you miss this stuff when you watch games on TV. I also missed seeing Bullet ride. =)

• I've been keeping up on my pre-surgery nesting. This week I made an appt. to get our carpets professionally cleaned. They're awful. Really awful. But while we've shampooed them ourselves a few times, we've held off on spending the money because we've been renovating and because we planned on replacing them by now. That's the way it goes, right? So I'm excited about that. Also, I took everything out of our bathroom drawers, cabinets, etc... and threw stuff out, vacuumed them out, and re-organized. This was a particularly lengthy and messy job because our built-in drawers back up to the spare room closets that were torn out - so, all the insulation, plaster, dust, and wood chips had settled into them. Guh-roas. Glad it's done. I still have the cabinet under the sink to do and then of course, just regular deep cleaning/scrubbing - but it's coming right along. =)

• I got some more Christmas shopping done Saturday. Went to Derby with my aunt and Grandma. We had a good time. I still didn't get everyone bought for. =| But I'm at least a step or two closer. I had hoped to have all this done this week BUT... yeah right. Looks like the rest will either be bought online, or will be gift cards.

• While I was Christmas shopping, I did some shopping for myself. I know, I know... I just can't help it when there's sales going on like that. Plus, I don't get out to shop very often anymore. Anyway, I had ordered this adorable, classy, perfect black dress a couple weeks ago. I just knew it would be just the thing for Heather's wedding. It wasn't. Instead of looking classy, adorable, and perfect... I looked frumpy, fat, and hideous. SO, I needed to find something Saturday. (The wedding is this month) I had pretty much given in and decided to wear bib overalls when I found a lone dress hidden amongst lots of pretty new things at Maurices. It was my size. It was black. It fit and was fairly flattering. Nothing special, glamorous, or stunning. But. It. Worked. It is me. Plus it was $20 cheaper than the one I'd ordered. I took the dress and a pair of jeans up to the counter to check out. The cashier's eyes got big and she said "This dress is on sale! You are just going to die!I asked her how much it was, expecting it to be down $10 or so. No. "$9.89!" I told her to GET OUT. I got the $40 dress for $9.89. GAME ON and Alisha FOR. THE. WIN. It's a dress I could wear to a wedding or a funeral (not that I plan on going to any of those anytime in the near or not-so-near future)... with pearls or a colorful cardigan and fun tights. Plus, it's something I can probably wear even if I gain or lose a size. Holla. To wrap it up, the jeans were 40% off, so I got the jeans AND the dress for less than what I would have got either one of them for alone. =)

• I can NOT seem to shake this cold stuff I've got lingering. It's been about a week and a half now. Some days I think it's headed out then the next I feel like I'm back at the starting line again. Sunday was one of those days. I basically laid on the couch all day. I did get up to cook some cavatini and do a load or two of laundry and dishes but that was it. Lazy, lazy day.

• We had our first "snow" Monday night/Tuesday morning. It was just a light dusting but I did manage to find a slick spot on my way to work. It's of course been cold and I decided to have a hot chocolate at work. =) We have a hot chocolate stash there so I had my pick. I chose a dark chocolate sensation and added vanilla caramel creamer to it. Yum. Warmed me right up. Maybe I'll finally bust into my tasty chi packets! Can't wait. Honestly can't believe I've waited this long. This sums up my current life nicely I believe.

• In other random news. You know what I don't like? I don't like when you're making a breakfast casserole with canned croissants... and the can won't pop open on it's on. You know the ones right? Both cans I tried to open last night wouldn't budge. Then I got nervous just anticipating that pop sound. I had to practically beat them with a big spoon and STILL my heart jumped.

• I made some healthy and nutritious muffins last night. They're called morning glory muffins and I got the recipe as well as the picture from this blog I follow. They happen to be Vegan but I don't really need or want for them to be necessarily. I just like that they're loaded with fruits and veggies. I followed her recipe but I used two cups of white whole wheat flour, pecans instead of walnuts, axed the raisins, and added a little almond milk. They definitely have a hearty taste and are full of fiber. I ate one for breakfast today with a little yogurt butter on it and it was good... plus I'm not hungry yet. Bonus.

• The remainder of the week, I have the following: dinner/criminal minds night, Wii Night, my work Christmas party, Heather's bachelorette party, a wedding shower, and one of my favorite kid's birthday party. SO - needless to say, I should have lots of pictures to show next week. =)

Oh Holy Leotards!

I got to enjoy one of the many perks of being an adopted auntie this weekend!

It was Charli's first DANCE RECITAL! A day Val, Cori, and I have waited on with much anticipation for quite some time. =)

Before the recital, Terese, Val, Dac and I went out for BBQ. Then, we swung by the store to get some gifts for the little star, and off to the recital we went!

The Christmas recital was put on by Ark City Dance and it was pretty good and it was a great way to start off the Christmas season. Plus, I danced for around 10 years so I always enjoy watching. There's some fantastic dancers at that studio! Of course, none of them were quite as adorable as this one. ; )

Charli was a gingerbread girl and she did great - singing along the whole time I might add. =) No stage fright! I couldn't be any prouder!!!

That single orange rose is from me and Dac got her an orange, haha! So practical. =) Val joined him and got her an apple with her flowers too!

After the show Dac had his heart set on ice cream, so we ventured back out, got a hot chocolate ice cream cone (YUM) and drove around just looking at a few Christmas lights in town.

How 'bout them Cowboys?!

Win or lose, I'm always proud to be an OSU Cowboy. Always. No. Matter. What. BUT - I'd be lying if I said that beating the tar out of OU during the Bedlam game Saturday night didn't boost that pride just a little bit! =) I was so stinkin' excited!

Dac and I had fun watching the game. We have just basic-basic cable and unfortunately, over the last few years we haven't been quite good enough to get a lot of prime time coverage... and we shoot weddings on a lot of Saturdays so we haven't got to catch many games. We both donned our orange, ate stew with extra carrots, and homemade sweet potato biscuits (ORANGE POWER) and cheered the boys on!

OSU 44 - OU 10. GO POKES! =)

As if beating OU wasn't enough... we're the BIG 12 champs! HOLLA!

Unfortunately, this wasn't enough to allow us to play LSU. Totally bummed here, people. This team deserved a shot at the championship. Sure, they lost to an unranked team just a couple weeks ago... but it was in overtime at least... and while none of us will ever know for sure how the plane crash the night before that game affected the team, given the way they've played the rest of the season, I think it's safe to say they were affected. Plus, the majority of my Dad's side of the family are big LSU fans and I would have loved to talk a little trash with them. =)

Oh well, the Fiesta Bowl is nothing to scoff at, we're still #3 in the nation, and this alum is proud. Did I mention we BEAT OU? ... Oh, I did? =)

Congratulations Cowboys!! Now go beat Stanford!

Photo credit: here and here.