Closer...

A while back I was reading this post on a blog I started following a couple months ago. It was a quick little post on friendship. Much of what she mentioned is stuff I'd considered before. Since then, I've been thinking about it even more. It's something that continuously pops up. Like the other day, at the wedding we photographed in Wichita. I stood in the bride's room listening to hilarious conversations while I documented the "getting ready" phase of the day. In addition to the hilarious conversations, these girls, these friends were constantly, almost without even a second thought, raising each other up and encouraging one another. It was completely real and genuine and I thought, Yes! That's what I'm talking about! I don't really have any fun "friend" pictures to show with this... but I thought, what the heck, I'll post anyway.

I think friendship is a very funny thing and I think, for we girls especially, friendships can be overly complicated... filled with drama, hurt feelings, grudges, insecurity, and uncertainty. Also, women in general are TOUGH on each other. What starts out as "OMG - can you believe she's wearing those shoes?" and "Lay off, I saw him first!", later becomes, "I would never let my child do that!" and "When is she going to get a real job/get married/have a baby/lose that 30 lbs already?" I've always hated how we treat each other, gossip about each other, and judge each other... I'd wager to bet most of us probably do... and yet... we have continued to do it.

I also think friendships (and relationships in general) can get kind of awkward at different times in our lives... especially when major transitions happen and we change a bit. It happens constantly... although I like to think it will be happening less. Our friends ended up in the opposite elementary school class than us, they got involved in different sports and activities in high school, maybe they even went to different colleges, got married and/or had kids before us. They changed their priorities, some of their likes/dislikes, and maybe even some of their defining beliefs.

I suppose if I had to pick just one positive thing that happened this year, it's that my eyes were opened even more to the important things in life. Now, this is a whole other bag of sour gummy worms in itself... but it does directly relate to friendships.

I think I'm almost to that point where I "get it". I'm not quite there yet and it's easier in some relationships and situations than in others but I'm definitely getting closer. Closer to keeping good friends near, closer to letting go of the bad, closer to knowing my limits, walking on egg shells less, judging less, and simply loving and encouraging more.

Now, good friendships seemed to be based less on actions, similarities, etc... and are based more on a common love for one another, an understanding for one another, and an acceptance of one another (and all that we bring with us). Now, things seem less complicated and ridiculous. Now, it matter less about what we do or where we go together, or even how often we talk or see each other. It matters more about the quality of time together. It matters that we can truly be ourselves, talk about anything, say what we feel, do what we want regardless of irrational expectations, and know that we can laugh with each other, and even at each other and that life will go on. I'll still be me, you'll still be you, and we'll still be friends.

I suppose it will always be a journey... one full of trial and error... one where there's always a little ways to go still... always room for improvement... but it feels good to be getting closer.

I can dig that! =)

PS - I don't typically read "The Message" version of the Bible. But check out Romans 12 and Romans 14