Hurts Worse

Pregnancy hurt. Labor hurt. C-section recovery hurt. Going back to work hurts worse.

It was inevitable... I had to go back to work and Reid would have to go to daycare. My heart couldn't have been more broken this morning as I got us ready to start a new routine. 

I pumped then hopped in the shower. As I was getting out, I heard his cry. Dac was getting him out of bed. I quickly took over, fed, and changed him. Then I had to put him down - hardly a chance for snuggles - while I got ready. I heard him cry again... then I cried. There I was, straightening my hair and pulling on dress pants and I couldn't comfort him. It was the first of many times that day it wouldn't be me to comfort him. Someone else (though a good someone else) would be taking my place. To top it off, my hair still ended up looking like crap. Sigh.

I got him all dressed in an actual outfit for his first day and snapped a couple shots to commemorate the traumatic experience. Clearly he wasn't as traumatized as me.

I left the house in tears and stopped by the donut shop on my way to Cori's... thinking a chocolate long john and donut holes would ease my pain. #donutsfixeverything #exceptthis =(

Cori let me stop by on my lunch break so I could cuddle him. I got to change two diapers and feed him. Couldn't have spent my lunch hour doing anything better. =) When I got back, I had these beauties waiting for me on my desk:

Thanks Val and Cori!

She also sent me pictures throughout the day. Sometimes it was hard to see what I was missing but I was oh so glad to see his face. Loved getting them!

I received a lot of sweet calls, texts, and facebook messages re-assuring me that it gets easier, that I'm a good mom, and that it's definitely harder on me than him. I'm thankful for those and I'm thankful for Cori taking him in and loving on him when I can't. I'm also thankful I got to come home to him... never left work so fast! =)